So apparently BMX racing is an olympic event. When did this happen? How do you judge that event? Do you get techincal points for not falling off your bike? Points if you don't get your pant leg stuck in the chain? (On a sidenote, one of the most traumatic events of my childhood occurred was when I was 7 and going to cub scouts on my bike. As I was riding, my pant leg got caught in the chain and I couldn't get it out. I was about 6 blocks from the cub scout meeting and 6 blocks from home. I had to drag my bike, attached to my right pant leg, to a ward member's house to get help. On top of that, I got a bloody nose. So with blood coming out my nose and a bike stuck to my right leg, I dragged the bike up the steps of the Haddock's porch and rang their doorbell in tears. I was a pretty pathetic sight.) Do the BMX riders get artistic points for the color of their helmets? I'm sure the ancient greeks didn't have BMX racing in mind.
Rhythmic gymnastics. I'm all for normal gymnastics where people do flips and stuff like that. However, this rythmic gymnastics thing I just don't get. From what I can glean, this "sport" entails running around with either a ribbon or a ball, maybe even both at the same time. I don't know. By the way, the girl in the picture is 62-yrs old according to the Chinese. More on that later.
Now this one completely blew my mind. I had to visit the Beijing Olympics official website to confirm that trampoline is in fact an olympic event. An event they actually give a medal for - - a medal made of gold or silver or bronze. What does the trampoline event entail? Is it based on height? Flips? Speed/frequency of jumps? Is it an individual event? Team based? Now, if they did team Crack the Egg, that might be worth watching. Can you imagine the suspense as Uzbekistan is pitted against Trinidad and Tobago in the Crack the Egg trampoline gold medal match? That's instant ratings right there.
I only mention table tennis because they had a highlight of an olympic match on SportsCenter. I have no real commentary except these people take ping pong to a whole new level. Apparently, there are ping pong sponsorship deals.
Finally, the "16-yr old" Chinese gymnast. Now, I did not see her perform but I read all about the controversy surrounding her age. Based on the photos I saw of her, I doubt she's 16-yrs old, but at the same time, people always think I'm younger than I really am. Also, if she's good enough to win a medal as a 13-yr old so be it. I don't really care all that much. I do think China should take advantage of this controversy by coining some new tourism slogan like: "China, A Place You Can Feel Young Again," or "China, You Can't Protest Here, But It Is A Fountain of Youth." Just a suggestion.
I'll look forward to the Summer Olympics of 2024 where hopefully Afton will be receiving a gold medal for her trampoline prowess.
4 comments:
A few things:
1. That parenthetical about your pant leg in the bike chain is perhaps the best I've ever seen.
2. You need to watch the 400m relay. Just do it.
3. If the IOC picks up on your Crack the Egg event, will you let me know? I think I have what it takes.
Ton, you can't be hatin' on the bike-dragging incident! That's where we got the Zulu stick, remember? YEAH!!! Call me and we can think up other awesome childhood memories. Like remember when you hit me in tehestomach with a baseball bat by accident? Or when Dad played softabll in the backayrd with us against the rules and he broke the garage window? See? The good times just keep on rollin'.....
There are two ways to do "Crack the Egg". Will you lobby to do both?
You forgot speedwalking. It was unreal. Aaron and I were laughing so hard at that one.
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