Lest you judge me, I have never doubted I would love baby #3 regardless of his or her gender. I am simply overwhelmed at the thought of being the mother to three girls. I grew up with brothers. I spent most of my 20s in environments where men outnumbered women (an LDS mission, the only law school in the nation that struggles to recruit female applicants, a legal profession where 80% of the members are men). I'm bad at doing hair.
And, while I may be entirely wrong on this, it has been hard to shake the feeling that as a mother I will have a few more parenting obligations to my daughters than I would to my sons. I love my dad, and he was always very supportive of me, but let's be honest: he didn't do my hair, teach me how to cook, guide me through the ordeal of sewing, talk to me about the birds and the bees, instruct me on anything else related to maturation, navigate issues of what is and is not a modest prom dress, or check up on whether I was completing my goals for the Personal Progress program at church. My mom did all that.
Afton, bless her heart, has done little to help with my feelings of competence in parenting daughters. The two weeks before the ultrasound were the first two after being in vacation-mode for a month. Afton was nuts, and this manifested itself in a lot of yelling, "I don't like you!", "I don't want you to be my mom anymore!", "I wish you would just go away!" and "You're not nice!!" Just yesterday she told me, "Mom, I prayed to Heavenly Father the other day that Grandma Debbie could be my mom and Papa Reed could be my dad, but... it hasn't happened yet." She was honestly baffled. Please, my sweet child, could you ponder the mysteries of God, prayer, and divine revelation with some other question besides, "Why are you still my mother?"
In the meantime, I'm trying to focus on the upside of this house full of girls. Whatever lack of female energy I may have felt in the first 30 years of my life will definitely be made up for in the second 30. And, if I leave this earth earlier than Tony, there will be three girls to take care of him whether he likes it or not. (Last week he told me, "Now I have to die first. If you're gone, they'll make me go to the doctor, and they won't be as nice about it as you are!"). And my daughters will have something I never had: sisters -- someone to fight with for sure, but also someone to give them a valid opinion when asked, "How does this look on me?", someone with whom they can do hair or nails or go shopping, someone to help them pick out their wedding dress, someone to help them with their new baby. Not too bad of a deal, right?
(The first picture of me and the three -- Afton, Ainsley, and #3 as growing pooch in my belly.)
6 comments:
Your girls really will love having sisters-especially as they get older. And somehow you will make it through until they get older :)
I have no real help here for you in the girl department. I am more acquainted with the male gender as well. Having mostly brothers and my mom having only brothers and your dad having only brothers, girls are somewhat of an enigma. So all the pink tutus and tiaras and barbies, and all things that are girls do mystify me. But as with Afton and Ainsley, Elsa and Lu....we will love and adore little girl number 3 and keep a special place in our hearts for Gibson our only grandson.
I hate to tell you this, but even with having boys, the mom does most of that stuff you mentioned. It doesn't matter which gender they are...mostly mom does it all! Have fun and congratulations!
Congratulations! I'm sure it will be fun and you'll make a great mom of 3 girls! :)
Just think in the future when all your sons go off and marry, your girls will be your friends forever. Anyway, the truth is you have absolutely adorable girls.
I'm a friend of Sylvia's who just found out this week I'm having my third girl. You articulate many of my feelings (much better than I) - I had only one sister over a decade younger than me, so didn't 'grow up' with sisters either and am baffled at what to do with THREE. I go back to the envy I always had of people who DID have sisters, even to fight with. Great post. Congrats on your little Miriam, she's beautiful!
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