As with Gremlins, there are a few simple rules associated with caring for Afton. (1) When all else fails, feed her broccoli for dinner. (2) Give her her pink blanket and pink bunny whenever she needs comfort or sleep. And (3) Never, ever, leave her unattended while she has access to the straps of her diaper.
On Wednesday, Tony took the day off of work to hang out with his niece and nephew (who had spent the night the night before) and to take care of Afton so I could get a much-needed full day at work. A little after noon, I received this email:
So. After lunch I stuck Afton in her crib to "take a nap." I changed her out of her pj's and figured I would change her into clothes after the "nap." After 35-minutes of hearing her talk and scream and babble, I didn't hear anything for a few minutes. I went in to take her out and saw her standing naked in her crib. I suddenly remembered you telling me that when Afton protests in her crib she does so by taking off her diaper. To my horror, at the opposite end of where Afton was standing was the pile of poop. A big pile. A smelly pile. A brown pile. Afton just beamed; seeming to know what she had done and that while I may have won the initial battle, she had won the war.
Last night, Tony slept in the basement so he could get 11 hours of uninterrupted sleep--one extra hour courtesy of daylight savings time. Meanwhile, I took care of Afton who woke up at 5 a.m. -- oblivious to the time change. After returning home from church this afternoon, Tony told me he could watch Afton so that I could take a nap.
Tony took Afton who was wearing only a dress--meaning no tights, no pants, no bloomers, nothing over her diaper--to his mancave, turned on an animated movie, got a blanket himself, and after a while, (accidentally I suppose) fell asleep on the floor. He woke up smelling something awful and opened his eyes to see only Afton's bare naked sweet cheeks (the cheeks on the backside, that is). It took him a moment to realize that not only had Afton taken off her diaper and pooped in the corner, but she had also promptly sat on his sleeping face while having some remnants of the poop pile still stuck to those sweet cheeks. As part of the clean-up process, Tony not only had to clean the carpet and Afton's backside, but he also had to wash his own poop-smeared face.
Much to Tony's chagrin, my first response was uncontrollable laughter and "This is soooo blog-worthy!"
Afton's response was probably something like: Hee-hee... Gotcha!
9 comments:
It was horrible. Let me tell you, there's nothing quite like waking up to your 18-month old child sitting on your face with poop still on her. It's just not a good thing; no positives about it. Children are this strange phenomenon: they do all these terrible things to you, like say, pooping on you, but you still love them.
What a little stinker. Maybe time to potty train??
I...can't...stop...laughing...
That will teach Tony to sleep while on "Afton Watch"! We are still laughing. I can't say that I ever experienced poop in the face though. Poor Tony: )
Ask Audra about the pee story some time. I have not laughed that hard in a while. Thanks for the funny post!
And people wonder why I would rather be the rich uncle with no children of my own. I still have yet to change a diaper (and I am not anxious to do so).
Yes, Tony, they do grow older and more devious!! She was out to get you, and she did!! This is only the beginning . . .: )
Laughing so hard tears are streaming down my face!
Awesome! Zip up footy pjs are a favorite at our house.
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